


The Crowded Drive

by stupid_drawings



Series: The Road Trip Series [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-10
Updated: 2011-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupid_drawings/pseuds/stupid_drawings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock, John, and Lestrade on another road trip, but this time more of Scotland Yard is needed (I vaguely made up some other characters to fill in the blanks). The numbers are how long they have been on the road. (example: 4.27 = 4 hours and 27 minutes into the trip). I recommend reading the other two first, this one has a few little references to the previous fics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crowded Drive

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all the readers and commenters and to anyone who has recced this series. It was a blast to write.  
> And thank you everyone that points out the distance thing, yes, it is quite unrealistic. Yes, I know. No, I am far too lazy to do anything about it other than mention it in the author's notes.
> 
> [Kayleighofbakerst did fanart!](http://kayleighofbakerst.tumblr.com/post/18177476092/a-little-doodle-i-did-while-pretending-i-could)

  
-3.45  
A crime within the police department of a small town about six hours outside of the city is reported. The police force in question has too much personal interest in the outcome of the case, so outsourcing is needed and Scotland Yard is called in. It is decided that six official police will be going, as well as Sherlock Holmes and his assistant, Doctor John Watson. Since there are eight total, they take two cars. 

-1.58  
It is an unspoken decision that one car will hold Sherlock, John, and Greg, and that everyone else will draw straws to see who will be stuck in the car with the freak, the weirdo that follows him around, and their boss.

-1.57  
Sally Donovan is the lucky winner. It feels much more like being the unlucky loser.

-12  
Sherlock and John finally arrive at the station. Neither look apologetic for holding everyone up.  

0  
Donovan refuses to sit next to Sherlock. Sherlock suggests another seating arrangement, but Greg declares that   
nobody  
is riding in the boot, no matter what.

3  
Both cars keep pace with each other, Greg’s car in the lead. 

26  
John receives a text from Sherlock that seems to be the description of someone’s life followed by a wink emoticon. John finds the emoticon to be the strangest thing Sherlock has ever texted him. This is a pretty significant thought considering some of Sherlock’s texts.

30  
Sherlock begins a game of forcing everyone to take turns trying to deduce the lives of the people in the cars around them. He makes John go first, pointing to a white car driving next to them. 

31  
John pretends to glance over the car for a moment, then recites the text; “Mother of three, house in the country, works in the city, son is sick, on her way to get him early from school.”

32  
Sherlock lavishes his deductions with praise and points out the mud, stickers, and anxious look, as well as several other clues that back up his deductions.

34  
Sherlock makes Greg go next, indicating a sporty red car. Greg is way off, but gets three details correct. 

37  
Sally gets one detail correct about the man in the beige car, but is unable to give a sufficient account of how she reached her conclusion, thus receives no points. She looks annoyed at herself for trying to play when it was obviously a ploy to belittle her.

40  
John goes again and Sherlock makes a big show of praising John’s absolutely correct deductions.

41  
John receives a text message from Sherlock listing all the things he got wrong. He just smiles and rolls his eyes at Sherlock. 

48  
Greg forfeits the game and Sally is ignoring Sherlock, so John suggests they play The Roadkill Game again. 

49  
Sherlock thinks this is a boring idea.

1.02  
Sally is disgusted when Greg calls out the first dead creature. Sherlock decides this is a brilliant idea after all.

1.25  
John points out “  
Erinaceus europaeus”   
and decides that devoting his breaks at work to memorizing the genus and species of the most common roadkill for the past few months was all worth it for the look on Sherlock’s face at this very moment.

1.37  
The car is silent because every possible type of music has been vetoed by at least one person in the car.

1.38  
Sherlock and John have begun their own unspoken game of Make Each Other Look Like Wonderful People which mostly involves being extremely polite to each other and showering each other with complements about their intelligence. Sally is playing Be Condescending To The Psycho. And Greg is trying not to steer them into oncoming traffic to shut them all up.

1.57  
Sally wonders what it is about John that makes Sherlock act almost human. She also wonders if Lestrade would choose to side with her or with Sherlock if he were ever forced to. Sally was not very optimistic with her guess, but she was very correct.

2.41  
Sally wonders if time has slowed down. It has not.

3.07  
the cars take a rest stop together.

3.10  
Donovan immediately starts to complain about riding with Sherlock to the other officers. Jackson, a large and muscular dark-skinned bald man, and Mendez, a small Italian woman of about forty, listen sympathetically while both thinking, “better her than me.”

3.11  
Sherlock is looking at the pitiful selection of road flares with distaste. Anderson is looking at Sherlock with distaste. John is looking at Anderson with distaste. Greg is buying a coffee.

3.23  
Back in the car, Greg tries to start a game of I Like My Women Like I Like My Coffee, but cuts himself off mid-sentence when he sees the look Donovan is giving him. Greg wishes Parker had gotten the short straw, at least he had a sense of humor. 

4.07  
John proudly points out   
Oryctolagus cuniculus   
lying half-crushed on the side of the road. Greg tells him to stop showing off. Greg receives a death-glare from John.

4.08  
Donovan looks longingly out the window at the other car. Sherlock looks longingly out the window at horses.

1.41  
Greg is telling a story about his wife, but nobody is listening. Sally is looking at herself in the side view mirror, and Sherlock and John are in their own little world in the back seat, speaking quietly.

4.56  
Sally asks why there are so many air fresheners on the mirror, then regrets asking as soon as the explanation is given. Later that night, she will have nightmares involving “meaty bits.”

5.34  
The cars stop for another break. Greg tries to talk Parker into switching places with Donovan, but Parker explains that making Sally’s life difficult is more fun than making Greg’s easier. John sticks with Sherlock, and they end up laughing about the impulse buys at the petrol station. Anderson and Donovan mutter mutinously to each other while glaring at Sherlock and John.

5.42  
Sherlock and John head to the car giggling over their new matching rubber band bracelets. Later, John will wonder why he felt the need to prove his loyalty in front of the officers in a style befitting a thirteen year old girl.

5.55  
Sherlock comments on Sally’s driving and what that says about her. Greg and John both wonder if they will need to keep guard on Sherlock that night in case Sally tries to kill him.

6.07  
They are almost to their destination. Sherlock and John are texting each other back and forth in the back seat while Sally fumes behind the steering wheel. Greg watches Sherlock watching John in the rear view mirror.

-20  
Anderson gets the short straw for the ride back. Anderson tries to talk Donovan into switching with him since she has already proven she can deal with the freak. Sally immediately stops feeling sorry for him. 

-19  
The other car leaves early so Anderson cannot talk his way out of it. Parker makes fun of him the entire ride back and Sally laughs along with everyone else.

-16  
Anderson finds himself locked in a disgusting petrol station toilet. 

-14  
Greg is dreading the trip back. He is also buying a large coffee.

0  
John and Sherlock climb into the back seat and inform Greg that Anderson decided to squeeze into the other car rather than ride with them. Greg is embarrassed about how unprofessional his staff is, but puts the car in drive without any comment. Greg hopes that Anderson is extra uncomfortable.   
He is, the petrol station attendant will not find the crowbar through the door handle for another 8 hours. 

12  
Jackson’s car having had a twenty minute head start means that the two vehicles are not driving together and will not stop at the same rest spots. Greg finds himself pleased that it is just the three of them again.

13  
Sherlock could not be happier. John suggesting they lock Anderson in the loo was tantamount to John declaring his undying love, as far as Sherlock is concerned. He smiles at John and plays with his elastic bracelet. 

18  
Greg puts on a playlist that consists of 80’s power ballads, 70’s glam rock, and Beatles music that is actually Beatles music. Everyone in the car enjoys the homage to their last trip.

19  
Sherlock insults Greg’s team for not being able to solve the case themselves, but Greg notices that none of the insults are directly aimed at him.

1.37  
Greg and John discuss classic kung-fu films. John allows Sherlock to examine his feet to keep the man quiet. With all the windows open, of course.

1.50  
Greg is a Jackie Chan fan, but John is a Bruce Lee fan. They have a playfully serious debate while Sherlock continues to quietly study every last millimeter of John’s feet.

3.28  
Greg realizes that he feels like one of the gang, and this thought pleases him so much that he offers to treat them all to dinner. 

3.43  
They are seated at an Italian restaurant. Sherlock once again orders what John wants, then makes John order what Sherlock wants. John is used to this and sees no harm in humoring Sherlock. The waiter gives Sherlock a humor-the-crazy-man look when he also changes Greg’s order from the frugal spaghetti to the pricey ravioli Greg is more in the mood for. 

3.56  
Sherlock, predictably, eats off of John’s plate, then offers his meal to John in return.

4.19  
Greg finds out that Sherlock paid the bill on the way to the toilets. He is about to tell Sherlock off when John gets back to the table and thanks Greg for the meal and offers him one of his elastic bracelets. John feels silly doing so, but Greg is oddly touched by the gesture. Greg tells himself he will thank Sherlock later, but ultimately he forgets to.

4.24  
They are back on the road. Sherlock sees cows and John assures him that he has not forgotten about his promise to take Sherlock to see cows. Greg feels a twinge of regret at being left out, but then remembers having to wrestle Sherlock away from sheep in the mud. Greg hopes they take pictures.

4.48  
Sherlock is still working on a list in his head of items and equipment he wants to bring with him on the cow trip and the various experiments he wants to do. John has just realized Sherlock is being too quiet.

4.49  
Sherlock throws John’s water bottle out of the window in a huff because John says he is planning to strictly monitor what equipment Sherlock brings on The Cow Trip. 

4.50  
Sherlock’s sulking is cut short when John places one consoling hand on Sherlock’s knee. 

5.02  
Sherlock accidentally hums along to Slade- _Run Run Away_. He cringes, expecting to be made fun of, but instead Greg starts to sing along and John taps out the beat, one hand still lightly resting on Sherlock’s knee. So Sherlock keeps humming. 

5.06  
A Queen song comes on and they continue; Sherlock humming, John tapping the beat, and Greg singing along. All three men have the strong urge to confess they went to the Freddie Mercury tribute concert in 1992, but none of them actually say it.  Due to their shyness, they will never know that all three of them were there in the audience that night. 

5.27  
Sherlock is hungry again and claims he cannot wait, so they stop at a petrol station. Sherlock purchases three ice cream sandwiches and a handful of chocolate bars. John makes him buy an apple and a banana, as well.

5.29  
John tries to get Sherlock to eat slower, but fails.

5.31  
Sherlock has a stomach ache and too much pride to admit it. 

7.11  
They arrive home. Greg drops them off at Baker Street and then heads home. All three men stop wearing their elastic bracelets (Sherlock- six, John- five, Greg- one) when they get home, but all three men secret them away somewhere safe.


End file.
